I'm sorry to start off a new year with some sadness, but it's always better out than in I've found.
What's the reason for my sadness? Well during the past year, I have suffered 3 losses. My lovely Mum, my best friend and my cat. They do say things come in 3's. That's been true of my experiences, but this year completely floored me!
I have a successful and therefore busy business in Pet Care as well as my writing, and to be perfectly honest, these were my saviours! I wasn't allowed to go downhill emotionally - not for long!
I've endured memories resurfacing on facebook, anniversaries, birthdays & Mothers' Day and over and over, my mind goes back to the last time I saw each alive! What did I say? What did I do? I've plagued myself with recriminations and wishes. I've cried myself to sleep and I've also not been able to sleep. Have you experienced the same?
I've been trying to write my second book; it's entitled Mum, Alzheimer's and Me (during the COVID Pandemic). To be perfectly honest, it's not an easy story to write! It's very personal, it's detailed and I have many reasons to be angry.
Doctors, Hospitals & Care homes provide such an awesome service, available to us in the UK freely, but recently with some delays. Should I be angry at them? Or was this fate and therefore by design rather than by default?! It's a difficult one to call.
My pain does not waver however and my body has revolted. It's true that if you don't listen to the messages in your mind, your body will stop you in your tracks! Mine certainly has and with a handful of new diagnoses, the most concerning one being my own forgetfulness, I feel frail, a wreck and in fear of what's to come.
I can only imagine what my Mum was going through as she herself began losing her memories. It's very scary! At the moment, all I'm losing are words! Is that all or will it get worse for me?! I guess you'd better watch this space for updates.
So that's really what I wanted to share in this first week of January 2024, after a long period of keeping myself to myself. It's about time I began to share my stories again. Writing is my means of escape, and thus far, I've only been able to escape in my dreams, however few and far between!
So, I will commit to writing a regular blog moving forward, sharing my life and thoughts - if that's of any interest to you - and getting stuck in to my next book too.
I hope you have had a joyous Christmas and new year and make seriously good plans for the 12 months ahead. For if you don't plan, how will you achieve your heart's desire?!
"If you fail to plan, you plan to fail" some say. So join me in setting some goals and some milestones so you can check in with yourself and achieve those goals. If it's important to you, just do it! ..........I'm going to.
All the best for your first week of 2024. Mine's not off to a great start (wonder of wonders!!) so I'm going to pick myself up and dust myself off and dive into this fresh new year with gusto (not referring to Storm Henk which has just blown over my town!).
See you soon I hope.
Kindest regards for a health & happy 2024.
Love always,
Andrea
xxx